Dealing with difficult customers

The Psychology Behind Difficult Customers and How Salespeople Can Win Them Over

Every salesperson, no matter how experienced, has faced the dreaded difficult customer. They’re the ones who push back on every detail, question your expertise, or seem impossible to satisfy. But here’s the truth: behind every difficult customer is psychology at play. If you understand what’s driving their behaviour, you’ll know how to respond—and even turn them into loyal buyers.


At KONA Training, we believe that mastering the psychology of customers—especially difficult ones—is a critical skill for salespeople. Let’s break down why customers act the way they do, and how you can approach them with confidence.

Dealing with difficult customers

Why Customers Become “Difficult”

Not every customer is intentionally trying to make your life hard. In fact, most “difficult” behaviour comes from deeper emotional or psychological needs. Here are some common drivers:

Fear of making the wrong decision

Customers who stall, nitpick, or ask endless questions often aren’t being difficult—they’re afraid. The wrong purchase could mean wasted money, wasted time, or risk to their reputation. Their resistance is actually about self-preservation.

Desire for control

Some customers want to feel like they’re in charge of the buying process. If they sense you’re steering too aggressively, they push back. For them, saying “no” is a way to regain power.

Past negative experiences

Customers may have been burned before by pushy sales tactics or poor service. That history colours their behaviour, making them more guarded or skeptical.

Different personality types

A high-detail, compliance-driven customer will ask endless technical questions, while a dominance-driven customer might challenge your authority. This is where tools like DISC profiling—something we emphasize at KONA Training—help salespeople adapt their approach.

Reset your mind

The Mindset Shift Salespeople Need

The first mistake many salespeople make is taking customer resistance personally. Difficult behaviour isn’t about you—it’s about the customer’s internal drivers. When you reframe a “difficult customer” as simply a “customer with unmet needs,” you immediately shift into problem-solving mode.


At KONA Training, we teach salespeople to approach resistance with curiosity instead of frustration. Ask yourself:
• What’s really going on here?
• What fear, need, or experience is shaping this reaction?
• How can I adapt my approach to meet them where they are?

Practical Strategies to Win Them Over

  1. Listen Twice as Much as You Speak
    When dealing with a difficult customer, resist the urge to over-explain. Instead, let them talk. Active listening not only gives you insight into their concerns but also builds trust. Customers who feel heard are far more likely to soften their resistance.
  2. Acknowledge Their Concerns
    Never dismiss objections or frustration. Phrases like, “I completely understand why you’d feel that way” validate their emotions. This simple step disarms defensiveness and shows empathy—something we stress heavily in KONA Training’s sales workshops.
  3. Use the Power of Questions
    Rather than telling customers why they should buy, ask questions that guide them to their own conclusions. For example:
    • “What would success look like for you in this decision?”
    • “If we could solve X, would that make you feel more confident moving forward?”
    This approach shifts the dynamic—you’re no longer “selling,” you’re helping them solve a problem.
  4. Stay Calm Under Pressure
    Difficult customers may raise their voice or challenge your expertise. The worst thing you can do is mirror that energy. Staying calm and professional signals strength and builds credibility. At KONA Training, we equip salespeople with techniques to manage stress so they never lose composure.
  5. Focus on Value, Not Just Price
    Many “difficult” customers seem obsessed with discounts. But often, price is just a stand-in for deeper concerns about value. Instead of haggling, reframe the conversation around outcomes, benefits, and long-term results.
Handling difficult customers

Turning Resistance Into Loyalty

Here’s the fascinating part: once you win over a difficult customer, they often become your most loyal advocate. Why? Because you’ve proven you can handle their concerns, respect their perspective, and deliver value under pressure.


We see this transformation all the time in KONA Training programs. Salespeople who once dreaded difficult clients learn to thrive with them. And more importantly, they start to view these interactions not as obstacles—but as opportunities to shine.


Difficult customers are part of sales. But when you understand the psychology behind their behaviour, you gain the power to respond strategically instead of emotionally. You build trust, showcase your professionalism, and often close deals that seemed impossible at first.


At KONA Training, we specialise in equipping salespeople with the skills, strategies, and psychology needed to handle any customer with confidence.

If your team could benefit from mastering the art of dealing with difficult customers, contact KONA Training today for tailored Sales and Customer Service Training that delivers real results.


Call 1300 611 288 or Email info@kona.com.au


Author – Garret Norris – https://www.linkedin.com/in/garretnorris/

How do I handle difficult customers or challenging situations in sales?

Encountering difficult customers

Encountering challenging situations and difficult customers in sales is part of the course. Whether it’s a client with unrealistic expectations, a customer with a laundry list of complaints, or a prospect who seems impossible to please, navigating these choppy waters undoubtably requires patience, and a strategic approach. Here are some valuable tips to help you handle difficult customers and challenging situations effectively.

Stay Calm and Composed

When faced with a challenging customer, keep your cool.

  • Take a deep breath
  • Maintain a professional demeanour
  • Avoid responding impulsively

Remember, your reaction sets the tone for the interaction.

Listen to the Customer

It’s important to practice active listening in order to understand the customer’s concerns fully. Allow them to express themselves without interruption, and demonstrate empathy by acknowledging their feelings. Sometimes, customers simply want to feel heard and understood. Recognise their emotions and use positive body language to help you build trust with the customer.

Empathise and Validate

Put yourself in the customer’s shoes to understand their perspective better. Even if you disagree with their stance, it’s essential to validate their feelings and show empathy. A simple acknowledgment of their frustration can go a long way in defusing tension and de-escalating a situation.

Focus on Solutions, Not Blame

Instead of getting defensive or placing blame, shift the focus to finding solutions.

  • Collaborate with the customer to identify their needs and work towards resolving the issue together.
  • Maintain a problem-solving mindset, emphasising how you can help rather than dwelling on past mistakes.

Set Expectations

Clearly communicate what you can and cannot offer to manage the customer’s expectations effectively. Ensure you are transparent about timelines, deliverables, and any limitations upfront to help avoid misunderstandings later on.

Seek to Understand

Seek to understand by digging deeper to uncover the underlying reasons behind the customer’s dissatisfaction. Is there a miscommunication, a product flaw, or a service issue at play?

Understanding the root cause of their problem or concern allows you to address the issue more effectively.

Quote- seek first to understand, then to be understood

Offer Alternatives and Options

Present the customer with viable alternatives or options to resolve the issue. Whether it’s a replacement product, a refund, or an alternative solution, provide choices that demonstrate your commitment to finding a resolution.

Follow Up

After you have resolved the immediate issue, follow up with the customer to ensure their satisfaction.

Stay true to your word and follow through on any promises made during the interaction.

Building trust through consistent follow-up is key to maintaining positive relationships with customers. Customers will always appreciate follow up as it shows you have genuine concern for their well-being and for their problem being rectified.

Learn and Improve

Every challenging situation is an opportunity for growth and learning. Take the time to reflect on what went wrong and identify areas for improvement. Use feedback from difficult interactions to refine your sales approach and enhance customer satisfaction in the future.

Maintain Professionalism

Regardless of how challenging the situation may be, always maintain a professional demeanor. Avoid engaging in arguments or letting emotions cloud your judgment. Keep in mind that your goal is to find a resolution while preserving the integrity of your relationship with the customer.

Per my last email meme

Can you avoid difficult customers in Sales all together?

Encountering difficult customers and challenging situations is inevitable in Sales. However, by adopting a patient, empathetic, and solution-oriented approach, you can navigate these obstacles and turn them into opportunities for professional growth and relationship-building with clients. Remember, the way you handle adversity speaks volumes about your professionalism and commitment to customer satisfaction.

Contact KONA today to discuss our tailored Sales & Customer Service Training Programs and the benefits they can bring to your Sales Team.

Call 1300 611 288 or email
info@kona.com.au


10 Ways to Handle Difficult Customers

How to handle difficult customers – not a question we should be asking ourselves, yet one we are unfortunately facing more and more often since the onset of COVID.

Customers are more likely to make repeat purchases with companies that offer excellent customer service. Since difficult customers are inevitable and more prevalent in this COVID environment, it is important that you and your team know how to effectively resolve customer conflicts.

Learn how to handle difficult customers

To enhance your team’s conflict resolution capabilities and increase their skills in knowing how to handle difficult customers, contact KONA for information on online workshops and practice role-playing with customer service and call centre workshops.

Some people believe “the customer is always right,” but I do not. However, I do believe that the customer is “always the customer”, they may not always be easy to deal with but you must still politely deal with them.

What to do

Learning how to handle difficult customers is vital ingredient for any business, especially those who have call centres. Even businesses with the best products and services are bound to have occasional run-ins with angry customers.

Consumers expect businesses to provide good customer service, now more than ever and with the increase in stress created by the global pandemic, many of our customers are experiencing an increase in “unreasonable” customers.

To build a positive reputation with consumers and to help manage internal stress, it is important to have professionally trained staff who can handle difficult people and resolve customer complaints.

How to do it

Many people’s natural response when faced with how to handle difficult customers, is to get defensive and get into a negative mindset with a disgruntled client. Once you flip the switch and start with ‘thank you,’ the response is out of the ordinary for them.

This works in every business, and once the strategy is taught to the customer service teams, sales divisions, and leadership, the impact is amazing.

However, handling an angry customer doesn’t stop there. Here are several other techniques and strategies that your team can learn to enhance their quality of customer service when dealing with complaints.

To find out more contact the KONA Group 1300 611 288 | info@kona.com.au

10 Ways on How to Handle Difficult Customers

  1. First and foremost, listen. Do not try to talk over the customer or argue with them. Let the customer have their say, even if you know what they are going to say next, that they don’t have all the information or that they are mistaken. As you listen, take the opportunity to build rapport with the customer.
  2. Build rapport through empathy. Put yourself in the customer’s shoes. Echo the source of their frustration and show that you understand their position and situation. If you can empathise with a customer’s problem, it will help calm them down. If you verbally “nod” during the call, the customer will feel better understood.
  3. Lower your voice. If the customer gets louder, speak slowly, in a low tone. Your calm demeanour can carry over to them and help them to settle down. As you approach the situation with a calm, clear mind, unaffected by the customer’s tone or volume, their anger will generally dissipate.
  4. Respond as if all your customers are watching. Pretend you are not talking only to the customer but to an audience that is watching the interaction. This shift in perspective can provide an emotional buffer if the customer is being verbally abusive and will allow you to think more clearly when responding. Since an unruly customer can be a negative referral, assume they’ll repeat the conversation to other potential customers; this mindset can help you do your best to address their concerns in a calming way.
  5. Know when to give in. If it is apparent that satisfying a rude customer is going to take two hours and still result in negative referrals, it may be better to take the high road and compromise. This will give you more time to nurture other, more productive customer relationships. Keep in mind that the interaction is atypical of customers and you’re dealing with an exception.
  6. Stay calm. If the customer is swearing or being verbally abusive, take a deep breath and continue as if you didn’t hear them. Responding in kind will not solve anything, and it will usually escalate the situation. Instead, remind the customer that you are there to help them and are their best immediate chance of resolving the situation. This simple statement often helps defuse the situation.
  7. Don’t take it personally. Always speak to the issue at hand and do not get personal, even if the customer does. Remember that the customer doesn’t know you and is just venting frustration at you as a representative of your company. Gently guide the conversation back to the issue and how you intend to resolve it.
  8. Remember that you’re interacting with a human. Everyone has an occasional bad day. Maybe your rude customer had a fight with their spouse, got a traffic ticket that morning or had a recent run of bad luck. We’ve all been there, to some degree. Try to empathise and make their day better by being a pleasant, calming voice – it’ll make you feel good too.
  9. If you promise a call-back, call back! Even if you promised an update that you don’t have yet, call the customer at the scheduled time anyway. The customer will be reassured that you are not trying to dodge them and will appreciate the follow-up.
  10. Summarise the next steps. At the end of the call, let the customer know exactly what to expect, and then be sure to follow through on your promises. Document the call to ensure you’re well prepared for the next interaction.

To find out more contact the KONA Group 1300 611 288 | info@kona.com.au

TRAINING COURSES AND WORKSHOPS FOR MANAGING DEMANDING CUSTOMERS

It is important for businesses to give their teams the proper conflict management training and techniques to be successful and know handle difficult customers. You can train your customer service, sales and leadership by investing your team in customer service workshops with KONA.

There are several great training resources available, both online and offline. To help you find the right resources for building a supportive team, we spoke with experts to compile a brief list of great training workshops.

ACTIVITIES FOR HANDLING DIFFICULT CUSTOMER CONVERSATIONS

Honing your customer service and conflict management skills takes time and practice. After your team completes the KONA training courses, you can implement recurring in-house exercises to keep their skills sharp as we will develop the training customised and branded for each client.

In conjunction with our customers, the Customisation phase is to tailor the appropriate training workshops and methodologies that will reinforce all the current in-house training and development.

This will include:

  • Roll out and logistics.
  • Worksheets.
  • Exercises.
  • Case studies.
  • PowerPoint slides.
  • On-going coaching manuals.

Our customers have experience amazing results with the below process:

KONA’s A.C.T.C Proven Process

Step 1: Assessment

Before we make any recommendations, we gain an understanding of your team’s effectiveness in the following key areas:

  • Strategic Objectives and your customers.
  • Distribution Strategy.
  • Climate of Support Leadership.
  • Team Culture.
  • Customer service Team Management.
  • Customer Management.
  • Required Soft Skills and Service Methodology.
  • Individual Performance Management and Accountability.

Step 2: Customisation

Having identified key areas of your current team’s effectiveness we will then be in a position to give feedback and recommendations of service improvement and the immediate key areas to focus on to generate continued growth.

In addition, we customise the training and coaching so that it is relevant to your customers service delivery and strategy.

Step 3: Training Modules

The Assessment and Customisation steps will help us to tailor practical training and development programs, in alignment with our customers overall strategy. For ongoing learning and referencing, and “to keep the training alive” – learning materials will also be handed over to you after the workshops.

Step 4: Coaching

Ongoing coaching plays a key role in driving sustained results from any customer management Effectiveness Strategy. We recommend follow-up, on-the-job coaching that will embed the processes, behaviours and skills required to make an ongoing success in delivering training excellence. Also, by this approach, combined by our active learning and participant engagement workshops – your team won’t revert to their old, comfortable habits!

To GET YOUR TEAM TRAINED IN HANDLING DIFFICULT CUSTOMERS ESPECIALLY DURING COVD-19, contact KONA 1300 611 288 | info@kona.com.au for a confidential conversation today.

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